The Power of Marriage

If you are engaged or married or just dating, maybe you are thinking about how marriage affects your relationship with your partner. Obviously everyone is different and each relationship is unique, but some key things happen when you are married.

When you get married it is a covenant with God, you, and your spouse. There are many physical bonds that occur but spiritual bonds as well. There is a shift in the atmosphere that occurs when you get married. When you promise before God to be together through the thick and thin, you become united spiritually.

Physical bonds are also going to occur especially if you and your spouse waited until marriage to have intercourse. The body comes together but also chemical bonds occur. You have hormones released in your brain and other parts of your body. You also experience chemical reactions through semen and other chemicals being released. That’s why if you have had sex with people before, the break up was probably difficult because of those chemicals and hormones being released and bonding you to that person.

Being married means you get to spend life with someone who knows you in the most intimate way. Good relationships do not keep secrets from each other and there is open communication. There is also a lot of grace that has to be given to each other.

If you’ve ever watched New Girl two characters (I won’t say the names so it’s not a spoiler) get married but they lived together before marriage in a loft with roommates. They didn’t have Christian views but even when they got married they had a shift (I’d say it’s a spiritual shift) in their relationship. They no longer wanted to live at the loft with their friends, even though they seemed fine when they were just engaged living with their friends.

They felt the shift in their relationship and wanted to be separate and live their lives together without family or friends with them. In Genesis 2:24 it says, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

When you love and care for your partner I believe the shift from fiance to spouse will come naturally. It isn’t awkward to be with your spouse when you love and care for each other. It can be scary at first but when you have an atmosphere of love and acceptance you will not be afraid of that transition. You will need to communicate to each other and express how you feel.

Sex brings up a lot of stuff so you may get angry, cry, or laugh during sex. If you get angry or sad you should try to figure out where that emotion is coming from. Deep hurts from our past can be brought up in this intimate act. Having an accepting and loving heart will help you get through any season of your sex life.

Intimacy is not just about sex either. You can have sex and it not be intimate at all if you do not open up your heart and be vulnerable with each other. I recommend the Podcast The Connected Life with Justin and Abi. They talk a lot about healthy sex and sexuality.

Abi actually has a chronic illness and at different times in her life she didn’t/couldn’t have sex. So she and Justin had to do other things to experience intimacy. I think any way you are vulnerable with each other is a form of intimacy. So you could be having a heartfelt conversation and that is intimacy. You could do a bible study together and confess sins together and experience intimacy with each other and God.

Marriage is powerful and a lot of the time you have to fight for your marriage. The enemy loves to break people apart. Having grace and patience with each other is a must. Expressing yourself and having good communication can help you so much.

Spiritual, physical, and emotional bonds are so powerful. I recommend praying for your sex life, communication, and spouse. Keep God as #1 and you will have a pretty good foundation for your marriage.